Spanks My Baby

1980 “Spanks My Baby” June 4, 2013 Right after April and I got married I had this job with a company called Rollins Protective Services. I installed residential and commercial alarm systems. One of our jobs was to perform preventative maintenance. One day I showed up at this house in Cleveland and the experience went like this; The family was African American, the husband was super skinny and the wife was super fat, really odd to look at. They had strong accents and the wife also had a lisp. I was going around the house checking the window units and I couldn’t pick up this on piece of furniture to get to the window. I also didn’t want to drop anything. The wife picked it up like it was an empty bag and while I just stood there looking at her she said, “wants wrong with you boy get in there and check the system”. I came back to the moment and finished what I had to do. As I was putting the paperwork together I noticed a fish tank, a large fish tank in the dining room. It had the ugliest fish in it I had ever seen, it was also very large. When I commented on the tank she said (remember the accent) “That’s my piranha”, I said what? She walked over to the tank and while looking at the fish said, “Yes that’s my baby” I thought to myself OK she has a piranha that she is attached to. Then it really got weird. She said to me “yes that’s my baby and when she is bad I has to spanks my baby”. I just commented you spank a piranha? She then demonstrated. As she was slowly lowering her one hand into the tank she was saying, “I puts my hand in here like this and go slowly, she has the cataract in one eye and she can’t see me” She then moved quickly and rushed her hand around the fish and pinned it to the bottom of the tank. The fish was rather upset and was trying to get away. The slowly putting her other hand into the tank she spanked the fish on the back fin while saying, “see I spanks my baby when she’s bad”. She removed her hand quickly and the fish was upset about the entire experience. But I get upset when I’m spanked as well !!!!!!!! And this wasn’t the weirdest one that happened while I had this job!